令人動容的智慧

傍晚，在一個規模不大的快餐廳裡，總共有三個食客：一個老人、一個年輕人，還有我。
或許是因為食客不多的緣故，餐廳裡的照明燈沒有完全打開，所以顯得有些昏暗。我坐在一個靠窗的角落裡獨自小酌，年輕人則手捧一碗炸醬麵，坐在靠近門口的位置，與老人相鄰。
我發現，年輕人的注意力似乎不在麵上，因為他眼睛的餘光，一刻都未曾離開過老人在桌邊的手機。事實證明了我的判斷。我看到，當那個老人再次側身點煙的時候，年輕人的手快速而敏捷地伸向手機，並最終裝進他上衣的口袋裡，試圖離開。老人轉過身來，很快發現手機不見了。
他的身體微微顫抖了一下，然後立即平定下來，環顧四周。
這時候年輕人已經在伸手開門，老人也似乎明白了什麼，他馬上站立起來，走向門口的年輕人。
我很替老人擔心。我認為，以他的年老體衰，很難對付一個身強體壯的年輕人。沒想到，老人卻說：「小伙子，請你等一下。」
年輕人一愣：「怎麼了？」
「是這樣，昨天是我七十歲的生日，我女兒送給我一部手機，雖然我並不喜歡它，可那畢竟是女兒的一番孝心。我剛才就把它放在了桌子上，可是現在它卻不見了，我想它肯定是被我不小心碰到了地面上。我的眼花得厲害，再說彎腰對我來說也不是件太容易的事，能不能麻煩你幫我找一下？」
年輕人剛才緊張的表情消失了，他擦了一把額頭上的汗，對老人說：「哦，您別著急，我來幫您找找看。」
年輕人彎下腰去，沿著老人的桌子轉了一圈，再轉了一圈，然後把手機遞過來：「老人家，您看，是不是這個？」
老人緊緊握住年輕人的手，激動地說：「謝謝！謝謝你！真是不錯的小伙子，你可以走了。」
我被眼前的一幕驚呆了。待年輕人走遠之後，我過去對老人說：「您本來已經確定手機就是他偷的，卻為什麼不報警？」
老人的回答使我回味悠長，他說：「雖然報警同樣能夠找回手機，但是我在找回手機的同時，也將失去一種比手機要寶貴千倍萬倍的東西，那就是 -- 寬容。」
人到了中年，越來越覺得微笑是一種悲憫，緘默才是一種修養，而寬容也是一種智慧。
出自於內心的寬容，可使滿室生春，一片祥和，愉悅的笑聲，可化解滿室如冰的場面，出自於內心的真誠，可使人有一份親切感，他會使人放鬆臉上的皺紋，會心的微笑，就像一首與人心靈相交的妙音，帶來通體的舒暢。
厭倦，拉長了人與人之間的距離，寬容的人，很少露才揚己，他能體會出人各有長的道理，不輕易的否定一個人的價值，他欣賞別人的長處時，是以平生不解藏人善，虛心的看待學習，而對自己的優點，又如含羞草般的善於掩藏。寬容的人知道，含笑的言語，可使人樂於接受，咬牙切齒口沫橫飛的辯論，一開始就輸了一半，我們何不多以笑容來面對世間的一切不如意之事，抱著渡人就是渡己的心，這世界會少了很多醜惡與紛爭。

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.
But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!
When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper,the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

寬恕的真意

有個婦人來求診。她的主述都是一些焦慮、憂鬱的症狀。診斷並不困難，就是憂鬱症，任何一位精神科醫師都可以辦到這點。問題在於是什麼造成她的憂鬱？又該怎麼治療？
「是我的先生。」婦人痛苦地說著。「但我不知道我該不該這樣說？」
婦人陳述了一段艱辛的過去。原來，婦人面對著婚姻暴力的問題。先生喜歡喝酒，一喝醉，就動手打她。先生因為酒醉的關係，工作都無法維持長久，讓她不得不到外面工作賺錢，貼補家用。但儘管如此，當她回到家中之後，所有大大小小的家事，以及三個小孩的扶養，都需要她來處理。她身心俱疲，整天生活於恐懼當中，她還擔心家庭暴力的現象，會影響小孩子的發展。
「妳的公婆怎麼說？」
「他們都站在先生那邊！」婦人又敘述了一段悲情的故事。聽起來，公公婆婆偏袒親生的兒子，當暴力出現時，公婆往往反過來指責她事情沒處理好，才激怒她先生。而妯娌姑嫂們，也都採取自掃門前雪的態度。到頭來，她變成了一切問題的核心。明明她是受害者，她卻必須負擔「不要讓先生生氣」的責任。她不斷受挫，而且還不斷受到其他人指責。然而，這還不是苦的--
「大家都要我寬恕他們」。婦人幾乎崩潰。「教會的姊妹都很關心我，沒有他們，我活不到現在。但我說實在的，我真的很難去寬恕那些傷害我的人。」
「那你曾經去報復過嗎？」
「我很想。但我不敢。而且，我偶爾也會懷疑：到底真相是如何？是我做錯了，才導致先生打我？我到底怎麼了？」
「所以，我聽起來，妳面對的問題有幾個：妳目前處於很不確定的狀態。事實真相、孰是孰非妳沒有辦法確定。其次，妳很想報復，但妳又不希望這麼做；但如果要放任妳 這樣下去，妳又無法忍受。所以聽起來，妳很想說：妳先生聯合全家來欺負妳，但妳不甘心，妳想報復，但又覺得不妥，別人要妳寬恕，妳也做不到？」
婦人點點頭。「他們都說我瘋了。我也很擔心：自己是不是瘋了？」
「我只是個醫師，不是上帝，所以我沒有能力幫你做判斷。至於診斷，我不認為那很重要。」我說。「我只告訴你該怎麼做。首先，先問妳幾個問題--妳鄰居對這件事情的看法怎樣？」
婦人想了想，搖搖頭。「我沒問過他們。」
「妳有什麼生活嗜好或娛樂消遣嗎？」婦人搖搖頭。
「倘若妳被趕出家門，妳能自己活的下去嗎？」 婦人搖搖著。
「妳仔細想一想，關心妳的人多？還是傷害妳的人多？」
婦人想了很久。「其實關心我的人比較多。」
「好，那妳花多少心思在那些關心妳的人身上？」 婦人愣住了。
「這就是問題核心。」我說。「妳被先生傷害，也被婆家傷害，妳一心尋求所謂的正義，但妳又沒有辦法證明自己是對的。所以妳什麼事情都不能做，這就是妳既焦慮又憂鬱的主因。而傷害妳的人少，關心妳的人多，妳卻老是花時間討好那些傷害妳的人，卻將愛妳的人棄之不顧。這豈不是很荒謬嗎？」
「所以，最愛妳的人是誰呢？是妳自己。圍繞在妳旁邊的、關心妳的人是誰呢？是那些朋友。妳得在心中提升他們的地位。妳應該多為自己、也多為朋友們著想。傷害妳的人是誰呢？聽起來是妳的先生、婆婆。妳得在心中把他們降級。妳無須去追問：他們為什麼要這樣做？也無需去討論：他們到底好不好？這些真相與評價，留給上帝去做判斷，不是身為凡人的妳應該去做的。妳要做的，只是減低他們在妳心中的比重。先生想打妳，妳就去申請保護令，不然就跑給他追。婆婆喜歡指責妳，妳就不要讓她有開口的機會。他們一罵妳，妳就藉故離去，要不然，就乾脆跟他們各說各話。該妳做的事情妳就做，不該妳做的事情就讓它放到爛也沒關係。」
「不能不做的，不然我會被罵死的。」
「妳又來了。妳又在關心那些傷害妳的人了。」我說。「而且，說實在的，妳即使配合他們，他們就會對妳有好評價嗎？」
「我明白了。」婦人默認了，但是想了一想，又開始猶豫。「這樣子不是違背了寬恕的真意嗎？我不是該去愛我的敵人嗎？」
我微微笑。「容我賣個關子，幾個月後妳就會知道。」
一個月過後，婦人來返診。臉上開始有笑容了。我因為時間不夠，就沒有多說什麼。幾個月過後，婦人整個人都變了樣子：她衣著亮麗多了，講話大聲多了，走起路來也有元氣，乍看之下，很難想像這就是幾個月前那個即將瀕臨自殺的憂鬱症婦人。
「這幾個月來怎樣？」
「奇蹟。」婦人神采飛揚地說。「我只能說是奇蹟。我照著您的說法去做。我才赫然發現：我身旁有這麼多人默默在關心我！我的鄰居、教會的姊妹，甚至我的小姑們也是。我以前都沒注意過他們，而且也根本不在意他們。我真的都專注於我的先生。偏偏他傷害我最大！」
我微笑不語。
「我乾脆就不去理他。我沒去請保護令--我還是比較傳統，不好意思將家醜外揚。但是，他現在一喝醉，我就躲開。他連想打我也沒機會。結果他竟然去打我婆婆，我婆婆氣壞了，開始罵他。我現在除了必要的工作，我其他事情都不管了。我把自己的時間放在教會、街坊鄰居上面。而且，我還報名了才藝班。我要多學些東西。最令人高興的是，這些日子我的心情越來越好，我的小孩也彷彿感染了我的情緒似的，越來越開朗。」
「妳明白什麼是寬恕的真意了嗎？」
「我不懂。」一絲陰霾浮現婦人臉上。「我有時候還會擔心。我是不是太自私了。」
「是該告訴妳答案的時候了。」我說。「妳覺得妳先生為什麼會打妳？」
「我發現他很缺乏自信，小時候被父母保護的太過了，他又不懂得怎麼表達自己。當他發現自己做不到自己想要的東西時，他就會直接將憤怒發洩出來。而我很倒楣，就成為他的受氣包。」
「所以過去妳的挨打，就是在幫助他繼續惡化，讓他永遠沒機會學習。」
「以後不會了。」婦人尷尬地笑一笑。「說實在的。我覺得他蠻可憐的。我有點想幫他。但又不知道該怎麼做？」
「妳需要的是知識、方法、跟資源。這些妳可以在一些書籍、助人工作中學習到，妳也可以回到校園--有何不可？」我闔上病歷。「還有其他問題嗎？」
「我還是不知道寬恕的真意。」
「妳已經替我回答過了。」我淡淡地說。
後記：
很多受苦的人都誤把「縱容」當成「寬恕」。事實上，縱容是懦弱的表現，而寬恕卻是勇氣的實現。一個人如果學不會愛自己、以及愛所有愛他的人，那他就不會有足夠的力量去抗拒懦弱--他會將所有的資源拿去討好那些傷害他的人，對方將成為「壞人」，而他自己就會成為「受害者」，到最後就是合演一齣悲劇，雙雙一起墮落。
絕大多數人一想到寬恕，就想到自我犧牲，但事實上，寬恕背後是有個強大力量的。上帝的愛散在於天地間，你必須透過愛才能領略到那個力量，當你被那強大而良善的力量所包圍時，寬恕就會成為再自然不過的結果。
所以，如何才能愛你的敵人呢？最快的方式就是先去愛所有愛你的人，同時不要對敵人進行任何評價，也不要配合敵人、或讓敵人有任何繼續傷害妳的機會，更不要浪費唇舌在辯論孰是孰非上。倘若你能做到這點，力量就會開始累積，當你成為強者的那一天，你將會發現：寬恕竟然是如此的容易。

潔白的木槿花

一到夏天，院子裡的木槿就開花。母親一見潔白的木槿花，就會眼含淚水，哆嗦著說：「我那時好糊塗，好糊塗啊。」
我５歲那年，右腿忽然青腫了一塊，痛得我成天哭喊。母親見我熬不過，就背著我去廖醫生家。廖醫生是個老中醫，退休後在家裡開了個小診所。他醫術好，心也善良。
廖醫生看了我的腿，責怪我母親：「再晚來兩天，右腿就廢了。這是骨髓炎，嚴重了就得截肢 !」母親不敢出聲，眼眶卻紅了。
其實不能怪母親，父親去世後，母親終日為3 餐發愁．哪有閒錢給我治腿？母親擔心地問能否治好，得到廖醫生的肯定回答後，臉色晴朗了許多，可片刻後，又一臉的陰雲。廖醫生給我敷了草藥，又交給母親兩帖中藥，說兩天後再來換藥。
母親顫聲問要付多少錢，廖醫生說５塊錢，母親的臉紅了，母親借不到錢，但我的腿不能不治。母親只好揣著八個雞蛋去廖醫生家。那時雞蛋很便宜，幾分錢一個。廖醫生不肯收，母親鼻子一酸，眼淚就掉下來了。廖醫生的眼睛也濕了，安慰母親：「好，我收下。錢的事，不要說起。」看了幾次腿，母親已欠廖醫生２８塊錢了，這在當時不是一個小數目。再去廖醫生家，母親帶上了家裡惟一的母雞。廖醫生死活不肯收，母親哽咽著再三哀求。廖醫生拗不過，說：「好，就算我買你的，１０塊錢，好嗎？」說著，硬塞給母親十塊錢。那時一隻雞最多賣4、5塊錢。母親說啥也不肯接錢。回到家裡，母親發現中藥紙包裡有１０塊錢，當晚就去了廖醫生家，把錢從門縫裡塞進去了。兩天後，又該去換藥，可母親不敢去，只默默地流淚。
不料廖醫生找上門來了。
談話間，廖醫生驚喜地發現了院子裡的木槿花，說：「木槿花是上好的中藥，一兩值２塊錢呢！摘了賣給我，好嗎？」母親驚喜萬分，連忙摘木槿花。廖醫生拿秤一稱，竟有１斤。
他說：「這下好了，你再也不用欠我錢了。」此後，去廖醫生家治腿，母親就帶點木槿花去。
母親不用欠廖醫生錢，廖醫生反而每次給母親一點錢。不久，我的腿治好了。第２年，廖醫生竟去世了。母親十分傷心，去廖醫生家弔唁。母親從他家屬口裡知道了一個天大的秘密：
木槿花是不能做中藥的。
母親哇的一聲嚎哭起來：「我的恩人呀……」
好朋友們，要把握機會幫助人；但，要記得：也要讓受助者有尊嚴。
聖經的話『上主能將各樣的恩惠多多地加給你們，使你們凡事常常充足，能多行各樣善事。』(格後書九8)

Peace of Mind

If you were to ask your neighbor, "What would give you peace of mind?" he might tell you, "A vacation in Bermuda!" or "An extra hundred grand would give me peace!", or "A new Ferrari would make me content!"
But going places ?and getting stuff ?is usually a temporary solution ...
Let's say you buy a lottery ticket and by some miracle you win your dreamFerrari. Today you are content.
Tomorrow you are saying, "If I could just catch that little punk who scratched it in the car park!"
Peace of mind rarely comes from getting more stuff. Getting more stuff usually leads to wanting even more stuff!
Peace of mind starts with being grateful for what you have right now.
GRATITUDE is POWER, and here's why ...
When you are thankful for what you have - for the friends you have, and for the things you've got, you attract more good people and good things.
People who always complain about what they DON'T HAVE, stay stuck. Complainers attract more things to complain about!
It is a law of life. It's hard to explain, but you can observe it around you. We get more of what we dwell upon.
That's why all the spiritual masters have taught the same lesson ... "Start by being thankful. Be happy with what you have now, and more will come your way."
It's practical advice. IN A NUTSHELL Every time you say a silent "thankyou" you become more peaceful ?and more powerful.

瀰天大罪，一懺便消；蓋世功德，一驕便無

浙江奉化雪竇寺的開山祖師--妙高禪師，在妙高台上用功修行，晝夜不息，但因體力有限，時常打瞌睡。
他為了警惕自己別再瞌睡，就移到臨山崖的一邊結跏趺坐，下面是十丈的懸崖山澗，如果打瞌睡，一頭栽下去，絕對沒命。
有一天妙高禪師忍不住又打瞌睡，真的就這樣摔下去，他以為這一次一定沒命了，沒想到到半山腰時，忽然覺得有人托著他的身體往上回到崖上，他很驚訝的問：「是誰救我？」空中回答：「護法韋馱！」妙高禪師心想：還不錯，我在這裡修行，居然還有人為我護法！於是趾高氣揚的問：「像我這樣精進修行的人，世間還有幾人？」空中答道：「像你這樣修行的人，有恆河沙數之多。從現在起，因你有這一念傲慢之心，我二十世不再護你的法！」
妙高禪師聽了，察覺自己貢高的心尚未根除，頓時慚愧萬分，痛哭流涕，左思右想，倒是想開了：「唉！不管他護不護法，我還是在這裡修行我的，修不成，一頭栽下去，死了也就算了。」就這樣，他依然坐在妙高台上修行。坐不久，又打瞌睡，又一頭栽下去，他認為這次真的沒命了，可是快落地的時候，竟又有人雙手托著他送上台來。妙高禪師又問：「是誰救我？」空中回答：「護法韋馱！」「你不是說二十世不來護我的法？怎麼又來？」韋馱菩薩說：「法師，因為你一念慚愧心起，已除去二十世的傲慢心。」
人生稍有成就，能不傲慢者有幾人？在傲慢中迷失自我，能思慚愧心者又有幾人？我們的人生不在妙高台上，而在我們自已的心上，我們時時刻刻都坐在妙高台上打瞌睡，只是尚未墜崖，不自知罷了！
從這個故事中我們瞭解，改過不怕慢、不怕難，最忌自我原諒，這是自欺欺人的行為，永遠也沒機會改，所以，「改過」要立志、要下決心，如此才能有效根除惡習與過錯。

在角落休息的魚

有個朋友去京都的時候，偶然進了一家店，他說因為坐在隔壁桌的人講的話實在太有趣了，所以就不知不覺聽了起來。他們談的是養殖小鰤魚的事。
鰤魚是養在架在海裡的四方形網裡，小鰤魚會在網裡繞圈圈的游來游去，養殖的人讓魚充分的環游，並不斷餵食，讓魚長大。
可是有一天，那位坐在隔壁桌的人，也就是從事養殖小鰤魚業的老先生一看網裡，卻發現網的四個角落竟然有偷懶不游的小鰤魚，這些魚要是不游就不會長大。所以，他就想了個辦法，既然四方形網的角落會讓魚躲在那裡偷懶，乾脆架成圓形的網算了。
他的構想的確很有效果，小鰤魚果然找不到休息的地方，只能在圓形的網裡環游，可是問題卻發生了，架起圓形網的數個月後，小鰤魚全都死光了，因為太累而累死了。
結果，他再一次架起四方形的網，然後往養魚網裡面看，他這次發現偷懶不游的並非特定的魚群，而是互相輪流，原來魚兒們都是適度的休息後再游的。
"休息是必要的"
認為人的價值是以做事來證明，或是被人認可才能證明的人，或許很難休息，但有時候什麼也不管就休息，說不定反而會發現什麼也不做的自己，其實也是很有價值。
休息是為了走更長遠的路。別給自己太大的壓力，要懂得舒解自己的壓力，別太累了！記住下面這句話：
「人在天堂，錢在銀行」
辛勤奮鬥一輩子，啥也帶不走...便宜了誰？

「無條件關懷」是關鍵

我曾經聽一位佛教出家法師，講了這麼一個寓言故事：
有一位四、五歲的小朋友，他奶奶是非常虔誠的佛教徒，每天早晚誦經、禮佛，經常持頌「觀世音菩薩」佛號。
這位小朋友每天聽奶奶把「觀世音菩薩」掛在嘴上，心裡很是好奇，有一天，他就問奶奶：「奶奶，『觀世音菩薩』是什麼樣的人啊？」
奶奶心想，小孫子才四、五歲，講太深、太複雜，恐怕小孫子聽不懂，所以，想了想後，就這麼告訴他：「『觀世音菩薩』是一位很仁慈的人，和祂在一起，我們都會感到很快樂。」
奶奶的這段話深深烙入小孫子的小小心靈，從此，他就非常期望能夠遇到「觀世音菩薩」，希望能夠和「觀世音菩薩」在一起。不過，他的願望一直都未能實現。
有一天，他終於下定決心，要出門去找「觀世音菩薩」，於是，他拿出他的小背包，把自己喜愛的糖果、餅乾、飲料，裝滿了小背包，然後，背起小背包，一個人出門找「觀世音菩薩」去了。
他一路走到附近的公園，看到樹下有一張椅子，就坐了下來，放下小背包，掏出糖果、餅乾，一個人就一面踢著小腳，一面四下張望，一面吃著餅乾，口裡還哼著兒歌。
這時，有一位衣衫襤褸、彎腰駝背的拾荒老婦人，緩緩經過小朋友身邊，她這一天都還沒進食，看到小朋友的食物，肚子不禁咕咕叫，於是，她就很小心地問這位小孩：「小朋友，你能分一點餅乾給我嗎？我肚子餓了。」
小朋友很熱情地拿出餅乾給老婦人，還讓出一個位子，邀請老婦人坐下來，兩個人就這樣一起吃餅乾、糖果，一起喝飲料，老少倆越談越投緣，聊得相非常高興。
小朋友回家後，很高興地告訴奶奶：「奶奶，奶奶，我遇到『觀世音菩薩』了，今天我和她在公園裡一起吃餅乾、吃糖果、喝飲料，真的好快樂哦。」
拾荒老婦人回去之後，她也告訴家人：「我今天遇到一位很可愛的小朋友，他的愛心，真像『觀世音菩薩』一樣慈悲啊。」
故事結尾時，這位法師這麼說：「很多念佛的人，都期望見到『觀世音菩薩』，但是，他們一直以為，『觀世音菩薩』要顯現得像圖畫裡所繪、像佛像所塑那樣，是一個人的形象，手裡還要拿著淨瓶，瓶裡還要插幾株楊柳枝，這才算見到『觀世音菩薩』。卻不知，只要我們心中有『慈悲』、有『愛』，我們就已見到『觀世音菩薩』。這位小朋友和這位老婦人，就是真正見到『觀世音菩薩』。」
從「心靈疆界」角度來看，法師的這個說法真是絕妙。
根據經驗，進入「自性」以上層次的人，或許他們會「見」到某種影像，或許他們會「聽」到某些聲音，或許他們會「聞」到什麼香味，或許他們有某種「感受」，但是，這些都不是重點，真正的關鍵是，他們都由內心深處流露出對人、對世界的一種「無條件關懷」，它就像法師所說的「愛」、「慈悲」，也像基督教所說的「博愛」。

"擔心" 與 "祝福"

一位做電視企畫與採訪的朋友告訴我，常常需要加班，日夜顛倒。
因與家人同住，所以他媽媽常會擔心，常唸他：要記得吃飯，別太晚睡，開車要小心等等，這樣的嘮叨每天反覆好幾次，朋友已見怪不怪，習以為常。
只是有時朋友也會覺得不耐煩，一見到母親就想逃，免得聽她囉嗦半天。
有一次朋友赴花蓮採訪證嚴法師，聽到證嚴法師說一句話，他覺得很有道理。她說：「如果一個父母常常擔心他的孩子，他的孩子會沒有福氣；因為福氣都被父母給擔心掉了。」
師父又說：「如果父母希望他的孩子有福氣，就要多多祝福他的孩子，而不是擔心她的孩子。」
朋友聽到這樣的話十分興奮，一回到家馬上轉述證嚴法師的話給他媽媽聽。朋友說，從此以後，他母親就很少再對他嘮叨了，他看到母親也不會再躲，反而在下班之餘，會找母親聊聊天，他覺得現在他跟母親像朋友一般自在。
媽媽常常是一家的靈魂人物，她掌握了一個家的家庭氣氛，我相信：如果沒一個快樂的媽媽，就很難有一個快樂的家庭。
然而，大多數的媽媽都過份地擔憂子女：課業，工作，婚姻，健康---幾乎無所不擔心，你想這樣的媽媽會快樂嗎？
用超心理學的潛意識說法，就是所謂的「心想事成」這句話。
一件事情如果你用很大的「念力」去相信它，它就會如你所相信的去「實現」你相信的。
一個媽媽如果相信：她的孩子有能力去面對他自己的生活困境與難題，那麼這個相信就是一個「祝福」，而她的孩也會因著這樣的祝福而蒙福的。
相反的，如果一個母親老是「覺得」她的孩子不懂事，不會照顧自己，一定會吃虧上當的，那麼這個「擔心」很可能就成了「詛咒」，以後你的孩子果然就會如你之前所擔心的那樣，老是出狀況令你擔心。
你的願有多大，實踐的力量就有多大。
從今天起，我們當要當心去檢查自己的每個「念頭」，你對孩子：是擔心多？還是祝福多呢？真的，愛你的孩子，與其擔心，不如祝福吧！
其實對於我們所關心的人，不管是家人、朋友、情人、恩人、師長、同學、同事等，也都要給予全部的祝福來取代擔心的心情，這樣，不用因擔心掛念而讓自己睡不著!

Silence is not only Gold, but Wisdom

懂得什麼時候不要說話，是一種智慧。
每個戀人和每個家庭都會遇到的經濟上的危機。
如果你的家人精明一世、糊塗一時，運氣不好被倒會，或為朋友作保受牽連，你當然也會跟著不開心，但懂的相處之道的人，自然得避免在這時製造雙方的裂痕，不該有話直說的埋怨道：「我早就知道，你這麼貪財一定會遭到報應！」或「我早就告訴你那個人不可靠了,你偏要相信他，這下好了吧，知道我的話是對的了吧？」這些話比直截了當罵「你這個白癡！」更難聽。
這時候沉默是最好的支持，其實犯錯者本身必然從失敗中的到教訓，不必再送給他一頓鞭子。
對方在度過難關以後，會終身感激你的支持。甚至，你什麼都沒做，他也會對你感激涕零的。
懂得什麼時候不要說話，是一種智慧。當朋友也是一樣。在別人哀慟欲絕的時候，你還要追根究底，就像人家的傷疤好不容易在結痂，你還來撥人家的痂。最好的安慰是無言的微笑，和傾聽。
有智慧的父母也是孩子福份。在英國遊學的時候，住宿家庭隔壁就住了一對很有智慧的夫妻。他們剛好度過七年之癢。有一次我在院子看書，目睹隔壁院子發生的事情。布朗先生正在教他五歲的兒子安迪使用剪草機，父子兩剪得正高興時，父親進門去接電話。接著我看到一幕慘劇；五歲的安迪把剪草機推向父親最愛的鬱金香花園，不一會，已經有兩公尺長的花圃糟殃。布朗先生出來，鐵青著一張臉。眼看他的拳頭已經高高的舉起......
忽然，布朗太太出來了，她看見滿目狼藉的花圃，馬上知明白發生了什麼事。她小聲、溫柔地對先生笑道：「喂，我們現在人生最大的幸福是養孩子，不是在養鬱金香。」三秒鐘後，他們交換一個吻，一切歸於平靜。
我把這個故事告訴好友，她是個家庭主婦。後來她告訴我，很感激我跟她說這個故事。「以前孩子打破東西，我少不了罵他兩聲，現在我會告訴自己，對我重要的是孩子，不是碗。哪個小孩在成長過程不會打破東西呢？」
情緒智商高的人懂得分輕重。如果你真的珍視感情的價值，就該懂得在他倒霉的時候施小惠。
也許我們都沒有聰明到「一句解千愁」的地步。但傾聽卻是人人做得到的施恩行為。傾聽，常比替他義憤填膺或替他擔起一切聰明一百倍。

God is a Comedian

Why God Loves Blondes:

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Balance

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day.
He inquired, "Where have You been?" God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God,” and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused." God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?" "That’s Washington State , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of aircraft and software." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God smiled, "There’s another Washington . Wait till you see the idiots I put there!

A Brilliant Conversation

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand and...

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent)
Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella.

Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From...GOD...
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And GOD did make everything.
Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?

(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them?

(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe The World around you. Tell me, son...have you ever feen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't...

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero.
Which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was pin-drop dilence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something.
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light...
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its Called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, You would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.

Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in uproar)
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The Class broke out into laughter)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?...

No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir...Exactly!
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

NB:
I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation...and if so...
You'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same... won't you?
Forward them to Increase their Knowledge...or FAITH.
That student was ALBERT EINSTEIN.

窮人的遺囑

窮人的遺囑 文/李家同

我做律師已經三十年了，當然常要處理遺產的事，通常需要律師處理遺產的人，多半是有錢的人，可是我曾經處理一個案件，寫遺囑的人卻是一個沒有多少遺產的神父。
這是二十年前的事，一位在南投縣鄉下的年輕神父寫信給我，他說，他們那裡的老神父病重，需要一位律師去見證他的遺囑－我信天主教，他們請我去，當然希望我能免費服務。
身為天主教徒，我覺得這件事義不容辭，立刻就去了。老神父雖然病重，卻不願住院，住在教堂裡。我去的時候，他很清醒，但非常虛弱，已經不能說話，遺囑大概是他口述以後，別人寫的。
這一份遺囑的主要內容都是對那位新的年輕神父寫的，老神父在遺囑中叮囑新神父好多事情，比方說，有一位教友最近失業了，情緒很不穩定，老神父請新神父一定要去幫助他找一份工作；某某人酗酒，老神父叮囑新神父幫助他戒酒；某某國中學生不想念書，成天混，老神父希望新神父好好地管教這個小孩子；某某年輕人在台中打工，有參加幫派的可能，老神父請新神父務必要使這位年輕人不至誤入歧途。
我記得大概有七個案例，老神父一再叮囑新神父一定要認真照顧他們。遺囑的最後一句話「我的財產全部遺給張神父」，張神父就是那位新來的年輕神父。
我將遺囑唸了一遍，問老神父是不是的確寫了這份遺囑，老神父點了點頭，他已經無法簽字了，我們拉著他手指畫了押，如此就完成了手續。
幾天以後，張神父告訴我，老神父過世了，我告訴他遺囑已經開始生效。我當時好奇，問他究竟老神父有多少財產。新神父告訴我說，他們發現他遺有現款二百元新台幣，還有一些舊衣物和書，即使在二十年前，二百元實在不算什麼，老神父顯然是個不折不扣的窮人，新神父從老神父那裡好像沒有得到任何遺產。
我每年都會收到張神父的一份報告書，說明他如何處理那七個案子，看來他處理得不錯，也都有好結果。四年以後，我告訴他，他已經照神父的遺囑做了，以後不需要再送報告過來了，這個案子就此結束。
二十年過去了，我的秘書在整理檔案時發現了這個案件，也勾起了我再度去南投鄉下的想法，我設法聯絡上那位當時年輕的張神父，他仍在那裡，我說我想去看他，他十分地表示歡迎。
十年前，我就覺得鄉下這裡好舒服，空氣新鮮，風景好，又沒有交通擁擠，現在這種好感更加強烈了，當時的年輕神父現在已經步入中年，他一方面招呼我坐下，一方面仍在應付許多事情，我感覺到這個小村落的每個人都是他要照顧的，他和我談話不到幾分鐘，就會有人來找他。
我們談了一陣子，我決定問張神父一個問題，以解我的心頭疑問。我問他那位老神父明明知道他只有二百元新台幣，為什麼要在遺囑中說他要將財產遺給他？
張神父說他當時也不懂，他以為老神父老來糊塗了。可是幾年以後，他終於懂了。他說他當時才從美國念完碩士回國，他畢業於美國的明星大學，碩士學位是生物化學，總以為自己會被派到大學去輔導大學生，沒有想到被派到山間的鄉下，他說這裡的教友根本對他的學問毫無興趣，他因此有些不安，也有點失望。
可是他規規矩矩地照老神父的遺囑做了，一旦開始，他就全心投入了關懷村民的工作，他發現有好多人需要他的幫助，他也就成天幫助他們。有一天，他忽然發現，他擁有一個特別的東西，就是心靈上的平安，而他知道，如果他沒有愛人，他是不會有這種平安的。
老神父當年叮囑他愛人，然後說將財產遺給他，老神父的財產就是心靈上的平安，心靈上的平安不是白白地能得到的，只有真心愛人的人，才能擁有它，老神父的意思是：「年輕神父，你如能真正的愛人，就能得到心靈上的平安。」
神父告訴我，他仍和他的老同學、老朋友有聯絡。他們也都常常來看他，和他們比起來，他的確看上去一無所有，但是他所感到的平安，卻不是他那些同學所能享受的。
我們天主教徒，個個想得平安，但真正心中有平安的人是很少的，為什麼？無非是因為我們沒有抓到秘訣，我們應該知道，平安絕非白白地能夠得到的，沒有愛人是不能享受這份珍貴寶物的。
我開車回台北的時候，決定要將那份遺囑好好地保存起來，因為它所牽涉到的是一份無比巨大的財產，最重要的是：寫遺囑的人過世的時候，一無所有，是個道道地地的窮人。
所謂宗教，應該是這樣放開心胸與人為善的，而不光只是念經頌佛或禮拜禱告這些形式上的東西而已……。

Homework from the Bishop

San Francisco Bishop Ignatius Wang will be one of the guest speakers at a Chinese Catholic Conference in Australia in October.

He wrote a letter to the Chinese Catholic Community, posting some questions regarding evangelization in the US/ Canada among chinese communities. As his daily duties are more on management than pastoral, he wants to know more about how Chinese Catholic communities operate from day to day.

Each Bible Study / Faith Sharing group has already had discussions nights. For the music ministry, since most of the members are already belongs to the Bible Study groups, we will not have any meeting. One of the questions is about the Liturgy. So I thought I would use this space to work on my answers. :) (the letter from Bishop is in chinese, & of course, my brain doesn't do well in translations. so the questions I wrote down might seems a litle funny.

Anyway... first, here are the questions, then my scribles...

1. What is the most difficult challenge we have in evangelizing to the Chinese in US/ Canada?

2. When serving the Lord, in theory & practice. Is the Chinese Catholics Understand that the message of the Gospel and the Chinese traditions are connected?

3. The Chinese cultures and dialects are so diverse. How does this affect the Liturgy and activities? For example, in a very general outlook, just for people from China, Hong Kong and Taiwan, there are already Mandarin, Cantonese, & Taiwanese-Mandarin. How do you bring together all these differences? How do you break the dialectic & cultural barrier between them, & harmoniously serve God?

4. Because of the politicl climate changes, the source of Chinese immagrates changed as well. In fact, many Chinese have returned to their countries of origin. How do you deal with the lost of congregation?

5. What are the pre-requisites for Evangelization? How to be successful?

6. Regarding the priests, especially those minister to the Chinese communities. Do they have to be Chinese? What qualities should they have to promote Evangelization?

7. How is the relationship between the Chinese parishioners & those of other ethnic groups? (or with the maority of parishioners?)

8. Many Chinese Catholic Communities have to "borrow" the main English parish for Liturgy & Activities. Sometime there's not enough room or the time is not convinient. How have this affect the community?

9. For the First Generation American-born, the youngsters, since their first language is English. How do you attract & keep them in the community?

10. With all the challenges each community has in Evagelization outside of Chinese Countries. Do you think it is the misattribution of the differences between Catholicism & Chinese Traditions, Thinking and Culture. (Q.2) Or do you think it is the more practice aspect (space & time for activities/ language barriers/ availability of priests)? Which (the cultures & philosophy vs Practical) has more impact on Evangelization? What might be a solution?

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As the music director for the Chinese Community & the member of the Parish Music Committee, there are few aspects of the Liturgy I can address.

Mandarin is the primary dialect used for the Liturgy. Since the majority of our congregation comes from Taiwan, follow by those from Hong Kong, China, and a few originated from South-East Asia countries (Vietnam, Malysia / Singapore). Most members from Hong Kong can understand & communicate in Mandarin without [or with minimum] problem. And since those from Taiwan and China do not understand Cantonese, Mandarin became the primary dialect for the Liturgy.

The availability of priests is also a determining factor for dialect use in Liturgy. Currently all the celebrants are Mandarin-Speakers, including Fr. Gaspar, an Indian priest, who entered seminary& was ordained in Taiwan. Because he is based in L.A. Fr. Gaspar is our primary celebrant (about 50%). We also have visiting priests from Berkeley, Chicago, & Washington, D.C. Many of them are graduate students in Theology.

Few years ago, we have Cantonese-speaking Priest from L.A. to preside Mass once a month, with someone translating the homily into Mandarin. Since most of Cantonese-speakers know mandarin pretty well. The practice was discontinued when priest became unavailable. We also had local English-speaking priests, with a translator helping with homily. It was under the parish pastor’s guidance & suggestion that we began the current practice with the visiting priests.


For the practical aspects of the Liturgy~

LECTORS: 1) The First Reading is always read in Cantonese; 2) Second Reading in Mandarin. 3) Prayers of the Faithful in Mandarin.

Since music is an integrate part of Liturgy, I believe the music ministry is important in providing both sense of diversity and unity within the community.

First, for the Mass Ordinary, we use settings that are familiar to members, regardless where they are originated from. For example, Mass settings by 劉榮耀，劉玉亭，李振邦神父等 are sung in Hong Kong & Taiwan, as well as in here in the US.

Second, we are building our resource for Responsorial Psalm. Instead of drawing from one composer (we know some other communities only use Responsorial Psalms by Jerry Chu, 朱健仁); we sing the Responsorial from Lectionary (English, and translate into Chinese if needed), Chinese Contemporaries, English Contemporary from the Hymnal, etc.

Third, we do not use any particular Hymnal. For the past seven years, we have been using a Hymn Binder for our community. This Binder has music selection of five (5) persons, of the music they know & have used often in the San Diego community & when they were in Taiwan / HK. In the formative years of the San Diego Chinese Catholic Community (est. 1995), the Hymn book 輕歌讚主榮, a worship song book used by university Catholic students in Taiwan. Many of the music are more suitable for Activities rather than Liturgies. We soon realized that, because of the diversity of our community, this Song Book, though familiar to those who came to U.S. in the 80s after college, no longer fulfills our needs.

As the music director, I am undertaking the task of revision/ re-organization of the Hymn Binder. I want to focus on hymns that are suitable for Liturgies; arranging them according to liturgical seasons & subjects; adding music notations, and revising text as needed (some hymns have traditional Chinese lyric, and might be difficult for congregation).

For the week-to-week operation to provide music for the Mass, here are some of the “work format”:
Many hymns are bi-lingual. They are the more universal hymns that everyone would recognize, whether they attend Chinese or English Mass. For example, traditional hymns such as Holy God, We Praise Thy Name (GROSSER GOTT), Praise to the Lord, the Almighty (LOBE DEN HERREN), as well as Chants (sung in Chinese) like Adoro Te Devote, Pagne Lingua, Ubi Caritas, etc. Such hymns can be found in《頌恩》 (Hymnal used in Hong Kong & mainly Cantonese-speaking Parishes), 《光啟聖歌選集》 (Hymnal from Taiwan) AND English Hymnal we have in the pew. This is convenient for the English-speakers (mostly non-Chinese parishioners, kids).

We also use Chinese-only hymns that many grew up with, like上主是我的牧者 by 江文也, or hymns by Fr. Lucien Deiss (戴思) like All the Earth Proclaim the Lord〔普天地頌揚天主, All You Nations〔爾眾萬邦〕; as well as English Hymns from the Hymnal when it is appropriate.

In additional, I try to have common musical element as the English Masses – it could be a hymn, or a meditation pieces. Hopefully this helps to create sense of unity within the parish community, as some of the Chinese members feel that SDCCC isn’t part of the St. Therese community, but that we “borrow” their church for Mass, because we don’t have our own church. Although few of these voices actually come from choir members, some of us are active within the Parish. Personally I sing with the St. Therese choir, which provides music for the 9am Sunday Mass and Feast days. I am also part of the Music Ministry Committee. For some others, because of personal limitations, participate in the seasonal Liturgy (Christmas, Easter, and Lessons & Carols) or Concerts.

Although our choir is small, our backgrounds reflect the unique, diversity of our congregation. One of our most active members is a first generation American-born youngster. Other members are from Hong Kong, Malaysia, Taiwan, and a few non-Chinese as well. Our musical tastes range from Gregorian Chants to Classical to Traditional Hymnody to Contemporary Praise songs.

As pastoral musicians, our day-to-day focus is the Liturgy; yet because its ability to transcent linguistic and cultural barriers, music allow us to cultivate diversity and create sense of unity at the same time. And while it helps to strengthen our Liturgy and sense of community, we hope our works also inspire the members to reach out to others and invited them to be part of SDCCC.

How to Deal with Negative People

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million othe r people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?" He said: "Who f***ed up your hair?"

Agape

Agape - the greek word for love.

The Gospel this past Sunday was about Love. It is from John 15:9-17. "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends"

The act of love, not only for the people we know & love, like family or friends; but also for those random acts of kindness toward strangers.

Deacon John, during his homily, gave a few examples. I can't repeat them word-by-word. But here are two I remembered~~

If you see an elderly couple in a store, walking slowly, taking their time in front of the shelf -- be patient. It would be the last time they are able to shop together.

If you got cut off by another driver on freeway during commute -- be patient. The other guy just finished 10 hours of work & trying to rush home to make dinner & spend a few extra minutes with his kids.

四個老婆

從前有一個富商，他有四位妻子。他最愛他的第四位妻子，常給她穿最貴重的衣服、吃最美味的佳餚；他也非常愛第三位妻子，常以她為傲，喜歡帶她到朋友面前炫耀，但是富商其實十分擔心，經常怕她會跟其他男人私奔。對於第二位妻子，富商也很喜愛，她十分關懷體貼，事事都有耐性；事實上，她是富商的紅顏知己，富商遇到什麼麻煩事情，總會去找她商量、請教，而她也常常幫助他脫離險境與難關。說到富商的第一位妻子了，她對富商忠心耿耿，對維護他的財產、健康和照顧家庭方面有非常重大的貢獻，但是，富商並不珍惜這位妻子；儘管她深愛著他，富商卻無動於衷，並沒有特別去留意她、照顧她。
好景不常，有一天，富商病倒了，過了不久，病情愈來愈嚴重，他自知時日無多了，想到過去的奢華生活，不禁暗忖：「我現在雖有四位妻子，可是，我只能孤單地死去，真孤獨淒涼啊！不！我不想如此！」於是他問他的第四位妻子：「我最愛護妳，給妳最好的衣服、最好的照顧，現在我快要死了，妳願意跟我一起去嗎？」
第四位妻子回答他：「不行！」二話不說，頭也不回地立即離開了他。她的回答像尖刀一樣，狠狠刺進富商的心胸裡。悲哀的商人於是去問他的第三位妻子：「我一生那麼愛妳，現在我快要死了，妳願意跟我一起去嗎？」
第三位妻子回答他：「不行！這裡的生活那麼可愛，你死後我會馬上改嫁別人的。」
商人的心立即沉下，跟著變冷。他跟著問他的第二位妻子：「我經常找妳解困，妳總會幫到我的，現在我又要妳幫忙了，當我死時，妳願意跟我一起去嗎？」
第二位妻子回答他：「對不起，這次我幫不到您了！最多我只能送您去墳場而已！」她的回答像雷電般把富商徹底地擊倒了。
那時傳來一個聲音向他道：「不要害怕！我和您一起離開！無論您到那裡去，我都會跟著您。」商人向上一瞧，原來那是他的第一位妻子。她骨瘦如柴，看來極度營養不良。商人萬分悲痛地說：「唉！我早該在有能力時好好地照顧妳啊！」
事實上，我們每一個人一生中都有四位妻子。第四位妻子是我們的身體，無論我們花多少時間與精力去保養它，讓它看來很美、很帥、很棒，死後它必離我們而去。第三位妻子是名譽、地位與財產，一旦我們死去，它們就會落到別人的手裡。第二位妻子是我們的親屬和朋友，無論在生時他們與我們多麼親近、多麼的樂於相助，死後也只可陪我們到墳場為止而已。 第一位妻子是我們看不到的東西，那就是我們的心靈。在我們追求（物質）財富與（感官）慾樂時，她最常被忽視。事實上，她是唯一經常跟著我們到任何地方的東西。現在是培育她、強化她的時候了，免得在病榻上垂死掙扎時才悲痛與哀傷。

輕囊行遠

一個小和尚要出門雲遊，但日期一推再推，已經過了半年了，還遲遲不肯動身。
方丈把他叫去問：「你要出門雲遊，為什麼還不動身呢？」
小和尚憂愁地說：「我這次雲遊，一去萬里，不知要走幾萬里路，跨幾千條河，翻幾千座山，經多少場風雨，所以，我需要好好地準備準備啊。」
方丈聽了，沉吟了一會兒，點了點頭說：「是啊，這麼遠的路，是需要好好的準備準備。」又問小和尚說：「你的芒鞋備足了嗎？一去萬里，遠路迢迢，鞋不備足怎麼行呢？」
方丈吩咐寺裡的僧人，每人幫小和尚準備十雙芒鞋，一會兒就送到禪房裡來。不一會兒，寺裡的僧人就紛紛送鞋來了，每人十雙，上百的僧人，很快就送來了上千雙芒鞋，堆在那裡，像小山似的。
方丈又吩咐大家說：「你們這師弟遠去，一路要經不知多少場風雨，大家每人要替他準備一把傘來。」不一會兒，寺裡的僧人便送來了上百把傘，堆放在方丈和小和尚的面前。
看著那堆得像小山似的芒鞋，還有那堆得像小山似的一大堆雨傘，小和尚不解地說：「方丈，徒兒一人外出雲遊，這麼多的東西，別說是幾萬里路，就是寸步，徒兒我也移不動啊！」
方丈微微一笑說：「別急，準備得還不算足呢，你這一去，山萬里，水千條，走到那些河邊，沒船又如何能到彼岸呢？一會兒，老衲我就吩咐眾人，每人給你打造一條船來。」
小和尚一聽，慌忙跪下一迭聲地說：「方丈，徒弟知道您的用心了，徒兒明白了，現在徒兒就要上路了！」
方丈會心一笑說：「一個人上路遠遊，一鞋一缽就足矣，東西太多，就走不動了。人生一世，不也是一次雲遊嗎？心裡裝的東西太多，又如何能走得遠呢？輕囊方能致遠，淨心方能行久啊。」
小和尚一聽，心裡慚愧

放下．放空．放平．放心．放手

放下．放空．放平．放心．放手

新來的小沙彌，對什麼都好奇。秋天，禪院裡紅葉飛舞，小沙彌跑去問師父：「紅葉這麼美，為什麼會掉呢？」
師父一笑：「因為冬天來了，樹撐不住那麼多葉子，只好捨。這不是『放棄』，是『放下』！」
冬天來了，小沙彌看見師兄們把院子裡的水缸扣過來，又跑去問師父：「好好的水，為什麼要倒掉呢？」
師父笑笑：「因為冬天冷，水結凍膨脹，會把缸撐破，所以要倒乾淨。這不是『真空』，是『放空』！」
大雪紛飛，厚厚的，一層又一層，積在幾棵盆栽的龍柏上，師父吩咐徒弟合力把盆搬倒，讓樹躺下來。小和尚又不解了，急著問：「龍柏好好的，為什麼弄倒？」
師父臉一整：「誰說好好的？你沒見雪把柏葉都壓塌了嗎？再壓就斷了。那不是『放倒』，是『放平』，為了保護它，教它躺平休息休息，等雪霽再扶起來。」
天寒，加上全球金融危機，香油收入少多了，連小沙彌都緊張，跑去問師父怎麼辦。
「少你吃？少你穿了嗎？」師父瞪一眼：「數數！櫃裡還掛了多少衣服？柴房裡還堆了多少柴？倉房裡還積了多少土豆？別想沒有的，想想還有的；苦日子總會過去，春天總會來。你要放心。『放心』不是『不用心』，是把心安頓。」
春天果然跟著來了，大概因為冬天的雪水特別多，春花爛漫，更勝往年，前殿的香火也漸漸恢復往日的盛況。師父要出遠門了，小沙彌追到山門：「師父您走了，我們怎麼辦？」
師父笑著揮揮手：「你們能放下、放空、放平、放心，我還有什麼不能放手的呢？」

Woman and a Fork

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.

She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly.

'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply.

'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.'

The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.

That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked.

'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'

So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come.'

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.

He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed They make you smile and encourage you to succeed Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

Digging out Old tricks

No, I don't have a dog or anything. But I found myself digging out some of my old piano scores.

I have been relearning the Debussy Arabaque #1. What happened was, Viktor, our church organist, has a cell phone with that ring tone. So everytime his phone, there is the Debussy. It is seldom that I actually like something from 19th century (I really don't "get" Chopin, nothing personal) but this piece Me Like! :D

Couple weeks ago, the choir did Mozart Laudate Dominum (from Vesper, soprano solo + choir). So one evening, when director said, ok, let get the Mozart out & work on it next; Viktor started playing the various tunes of Mozart Piano Sonatas. :D

p.s. Viktor said the Boesendorfer is the perfect instrument to play Mozart. So if you guys can get your hands on one, try it. :)

Blogger ate my homework!

I was about post a "Blah" Chinese New Year family gathering, then Blogger dicided to eat it instead. No love lost. Like I said, it was ... blah....

Anyway... if you can imagine, I am getting ready for Lent already. Right now I am finishing the music planning for Lent. One of my accompanists is back in rotation! Yah! She has been out of commission for almost a year, because of her own health, & her dad's. She's been traveling to Taiwan every 2 weeks to take care of her day (who passed away right before Christmas), while herself underwent treatment for Breast Cancer. I am glad she feels better to be back. :) So let's thank God for that.

Although there's a long weekend coming up, I have to work on the RCIA presentation on Liturgical Music. I did that once couple year ago, write an article, etc etc etc. I am really really dragging it... not because of the material, but the fact that I have to do this in Mandarin Chinese.... YIKES. I cannot think of anything intellectual in Chinese... so I write in English, then translate the notes in Chinese, and of course then I have to practice how to speak that... Complicated, I know. Kinda like an assignment for a foreign language class... sigh.... I wonder if the computer can eat my homework again? :p

Links, Links, Links

Boring title, I know. But does anyone know that those pictures to the left are actually links? Anyway... just thought, fyi.

Will be going to LA for the Chinese New Year Family gathering. Leaving after morning Mass.

Happiness Bank

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'

'That doesnʼt' t have anything to do with it,' he replied.

Happiness is something y ou decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Why dogs don't have to live so long

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old).
-------------------------------------------
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.

The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for amiracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.' Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it andwalk away.

Organ

Choir Loft/ Organ @ Mission Santa Barbara


Choir Loft/ Organ @ Mission San Luis Obispo

Fill in the Blank...

Last week (is it ONLY last week?!) I attended the Winter Chant Intensive Workshop organized by Musica Sacra, Church Music Association of America. It's right here in San Diego, so don't really have excuse NOT to attend. :)


When they say intense, they meant it! The time is long (Monday afternoon to Friday afternoon), basically 9am in the morning, to 6pm; with Wednesday & Thursday evening until 8:30pm. Both evenings were for chironomy (conducting) of Chant.

The Workshop used the Solesmes Method, focused on the singing, technicalities, in creating Schola in parishes. We went through the basic -
= Names for the neumes ~ hopefully those names are going to stick around in my head finally!! I never could remembered them when I learnt that as undergrad/ grad/ from voice lessons/ Medieval Workshops...

= Modes ~ I must admit this part was boring... I kept hoping the instructor would talk about the characteristic of the different modes. But he only went through the ranges, finals, dominants.

I think the part I learnt the most, was first, Chironomy, the Conducting of Chant. It's quite interesting. The technique, the movements of the hands imitate those of the sea, like the waves.

THe other thing I learnt most, is HOW to communicate with others, so to 'teach' them how to sing Chant, in a systematic way. For those of you Berkeleyans, who had sung under Prof Kuzma's direction, the systematic Solesmes Method is quite the departure from the "Thomas Binkley" Methold. :D

Maybe I should say that the Binkley way of singing, is more performance oriented. A dramatized way of singing Chant. Like Sequentia vs the Nuns from Einbingen Benedictine Abbey. After the Workshop, I looked through the Chants I sung along with the Dufay Missa. And was amazed. At that time, I think we learnt by oral tradition, it worked on for that level of singing, for that type of ensemble. And working with singers in a parish, or amateur community groups, Solesmes Method would work better, I think.

So I guess that's why I feel that, although I have learnt lots of new things in the Workshop; it was also a big Ah-Ha! moment. Kind of like "Fill-in-the-black/ That's why we sang it like that!"

There were actually two other people from our church attending the Workshop. One of them is the music coordinator. & We are starting a little group to sing the Proper Communion Chant during the 9am Mass. I actually have been doing that for the Chinese Mass (because people have to go to Communion, & I don't need to); but just some common hymns like Adoro Te Devote, Pagne Lingua, Ubi Caritas, Salve Regina, etc.

The week ended with a beautiful, tradition Latin Mass! We sang all the Ordinary & Proper in Latin (The readings were recited in English though). Now I am just wondering... did we record the readings, the Alleluia, the Pater Nostram for the Dufay? None of those made it in the CD...